Friday, November 6, 2015

Call me maybe?

It's been too long since my last posting.  Our lives have been a crazy kind of wonderful with absolutely no downtime.  Right now I should be grading papers and lesson planning and instead I'm contemplating life.

A few years ago I wrote about our faith journey. We had picked up and moved, for the second time in our marriage, because that's where our road was going.  I wrote about patience, faith, waiting and giving up control and planning because that's when you can really enjoy the ride of life.  I'm glad I stumbled on that post today because I needed it.  Everyone in my life is starting a new adventure. A few months ago I wrote about feeling like I was in transition and trying to find out who I was and where I was heading.  I didn't feel like I could start my own adventure because I needed to be a base camp as my family grows.  Kirk is now well entrenched in his post-graduate work, Whit is nearing the halfway point of Kindergarten and Eilidh continues to emerge into an independent and captivating child.

For the last few weeks, perhaps months, I've wondered where life would lead ME next. I see my family ranging out and coming back to me but I've been steadfast so far.  When would it be my turn? Who will I become next?  And although I don't doubt that something new will be on the horizon for me eventually, I must have missed the subtle shifting and changing that was going on around me; that my island was growing and bridges were being built around it.  I'm overwhelmed right now with the sense of community surrounding me. With the sharing of ideas and building of lives.  Someone once told me that the 30's were an amazing time and they have surely proved to be thus far.

And while I may lament at times the need for me to be away from home and family for work, and why I can't seem to figure out who I'm supposed to be and where I'm supposed to go, I've come to see over time that I haven't missed the calling that I've been waiting for.  I've just followed it without really hearing it.  I've settled into my new self without realizing it and have been doing important work without really knowing it.

I see the signs of change coming, I can smell a new adventure in the air. But for now I'm going to watch and wait.  I'm going to pay attention to who I am, where I am, and this amazing group of people I'm being connected to.  And when the time comes for me to jump, I'll be ready.

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