It seems hard to believe that just over 10 weeks ago I was struggling to find the balance in my life. And I don't just mean finding time to do things I mean re-capturing a feeling from my youth when life was something to be lived and time something to be made the most of. Kirk and I have often wished for that feeling. For me, the memories are of long summer evenings at the park: Dad playing softball, Mom chatting in the stands, Kristin and I running back and forth between the field and playground and always spending a few minutes in the line at the ice cream truck.
Looking back I realize that my parents were doing just what I am doing - working 40 hour weeks, raising kids, and maintaining a marriage. This is not the first time (nor is it like to be the last) that I will mention that my mother seemed to have an innate ability to get it all done and still have free time left over to make dinner, read books and sew Halloween costumes. Not to mention dresses for all of us for Easter and Christmas. To this day I do not know how she managed it and to be honest I don't want to know. I prefer that she not shatter the idyllic image of her I have from my youth.
I can't exactly pinpoint what has changed, but I am getting closer to finding that balance, that center. Working mother, homemaker, wife, sister, friend. Part of it may have to do with relaxing my standards. I've always been a list maker (even if I don't follow that list) and I've always needed a strong sense of control. If having Whit has taught me anything it is that I no longer make the master schedule of my life, I simply follow his. I don't go to bed when I want, I don't wake up when I want, I don't eat when I want. And I'm learning that it is ok to leave a sink full of half-washed dishes and it is ok to let the dirty (or clean) clothing pile up a little. One of my favorite new quotes from one of my favorite new people is 'Keep your house clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy."
And now for a few fun updates about Whit: