Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Being Mommy

This week I ate a banana.

So... that's news?  Well, let me try again.

The other day I sat down in a quiet, semi-tidy room.  I peeled a banana.  I took a bite.  Then another. And another.  I finished the entire banana.  No one leaped for me, asking for a bite.  No one smeared banana on my clothing or in my hair.  When I stood up to drop the banana peel in the garbage, I didn't have to avoid any half-eaten smashed banana on the floor. 

It's the little things in life, right?

Now, don't get me wrong.  I LOVE my life. I love being here, there, everywhere, nearly every moment for my children.  But being Mommy to a busy three year old and a newly mobile 11 month old can be exhausting.  And it's not like you get days off.   Yes, working outside the home is exhausting.  But in a different way.  And really, if you mess up at your job there's a chance you will get fired.  But if you mess up at home....well... let's just not even worry about that, shall we? 

But this week, as I was eating my banana and enjoying an hour "off," I thought about how quiet my house was.  And I thought how I didn't trip over anything on my way to the bathroom. And that I didn't have company in the bathroom!  My break was short, but it was long enough that I missed being Mommy.

Today on the way to school, Whit informed me that I hadn't buckled my seat belt and we were now on the "small road."  I slid the buckle into place and as it clicked I said "Bad Mommy, I'll do better next time."  Whit glanced up at me with surprise and said "You aren't a bad Mommy, you are a good Mommy, the best Mommy."

So while my two little ones aren't old enough to say "Thank you" on a regular basis, I know that I'm making a difference.  I know that while our faith is the foundation of our home and family, I'm like the plumbing and electricity.  Being Mommy isn't typically glamorous.  It's nearly always hard work.  Sometimes it's not appreciated until it's not working.  But there's nothing else I'd rather be.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

To My Dearest Babe

We don't get enough of this.  You and I snuggled together in a quiet house, your head on my chest and your hand in mine.  The sound of my heart beating and your skin on my skin reminding us that we, you and I, are the same; created for each other. 

I'm sorry if I seem so busy, so caught up in the daily to-dos of life.  Paying bills, buying groceries, doing laundry, a thousand other projects screaming to be completed, providing and planning for our future.  I'm sorry if I don't take the time to truly see you. 

I promise from now on I will drop everything I'm doing when you ask me to play.  I will spend a few extra minutes by your bedside each night.  I will get out from behind the camera and make memories rather than mementos.  I will tuck each smile you give me into my heart.  I will not take for granted those chubby cheeks and plump hands or the way you look into my eyes when you say "Mama."  For too soon you will have the lean look of a child then the sharp angles of an adolescent.  Soon your eyes will be occupied, industriously taking in the world.  The next time I hold you in my arms I will breath deeply that scent that is part me, part your father and 100 percent you.  Because every moment you change, you become less my baby and never again will you be the you that you are right now.